The Humble Beach Clean Up

The ocean is big. Too big even. Trying to save it all before the sun goes down will leave ya burnt out and more useless than when you started. In the case of environmental conservation, done is better than perfect and good enough is better than wallowing in existential dread. There is only one way to eat an elephant, one bite at a time.

All of the monthly blogs of the major 501(c)3’s have advice on how to get started. Read that, internalize it, make it less corporate and lame and then make it your own.

In relation to saving the oceans, or the polar bears or really any other massive undertaking, consider the yard work analogy. For those who didn’t grow up in the burbs, bear with me. 

The Yard Work Analogy begins with the simple fact that yard work (or any physical labor) can be extremely rewarding. Somewhere out there is a line graph with Enjoyment/Reward on the X axis and Perceived Effect on the Y axis. The graph itself is a diagonal line shooting off into infinity that illustrates what stat nerds call a “direct relationship.”  

In layman’s terms, the more you see your blood, sweat, and tears having an effect on the task at hand, the greater your fulfillment. Mowing the lawn? Enormously satisfying. The grass is long, the mower travels over it, now the grass is cut and the Western ideal of Nature as a thing to be dominated and subjugated is fulfilled once more. The village is safe and the monsters in the deep dark wood have been vanquished. Or something, I’m actually anti lawn so maybe this is a shitty example already.

Raking leaves on the other hand? When you rake oak leaves on a cool October day in the waning sunlight of a departing sun, the perceived effect is much lower. It takes one, two, three sweeps of the rake to clear those leaves, not just one pass of the John Deere. THUS the enjoyment/reward of the task is much lower. Direct relationship, remember? 

The more you are able to see the fruits of your labor, the more satisfied you will be with the work. Both kinds of work are necessary but some jobs are simply more enjoyable. 

So how does this apply to the ocean humanity is hell bent on turning into bathwater? Be strategic with your blood, sweat, and tears. Continually seek work that make you feel like you’re doing something. The humble beach cleanup is an excellent example. 

Now I’m aware, dear reader, that you’ve read all this way and my advice is to do a beach cleanup. What a scam. Yes and no. I’m telling you why the beach clean up is crucial to saving the ocean at large. Local action with local results creates links in a chain that can actually heal the world. 

I’m passing the buck and leaving it up to you to get creative. What is your seaside community struggling with? Maybe it’s not plastic on the beach but a lack of signage informing people to stay off the coral at a beach park. Put up a tent, drink a couple beers and talk to people about the impact their little piggies have on delicate ecosystems. Maybe there’s an energy production facility keen on continuing to dump their “clean and treated” wastewater into the canal that USED TO have world class striped bass fishing. Buy a couple boxes of coffee, post up, and ask everybody going into the supermarket on a Saturday morning if they know what wastewater discharge would do to fish stocks for the next 5, 10, 20 years. Maybe they’ll be interested.

Or maybe not, it’s their choice. 

If you’re reading a magazine/newsletter about “seaside life, well lived” you’re probably already an ocean lover of sorts. The next time you experience the infinite wisdom in the eye of a humpback whale, know that you can act in some small way to ensure this beautiful creature lives on. It’s less about actually cleaning the plastic off the beach than about creating a community of humans to give a shit in the future. Maybe your beach cleanup inspires one of the local groms to figure out a cost effective solution for cleaning up the great Pacific garbage patch decades down the line.

You never know, so why not try. But make it fun

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